Man, I really don’t feel like spending too much energy on this. I’m sooo over Sarah Palin, but feel that I should at least document the passage of time. Will she win[1]? I don’t know, but I do think that it is likely that America’s wobbly middle is strong enough in their collective delusions/beliefs to make it happen. And by now it is clear that Palin wasn’t chosen to reel in the female vote; her mission is to bring Christianity to the McCain campaign, and by extension to the world. Hot damn, I can’t wait.

America’s most glorious believer had the following to say in a recent interview on US network television when questioned on her immediate willingness to jump aboard the McCain ticket.

I answered him yes because I have the confidence in that readiness and knowing that you can’t blink, you have to be wired in a way of being so committed to the mission, the mission that we’re on — reform of this country and victory in the war — you can’t blink.

That’s a hectic thing to say; describing yourself in such militaristic terms; on a mission, a mission of country and victory and war.

God’s own fist

Here’s more from the interview

Charles Gibson: [you said], “There is a plan and it is God’s plan.”

Palin: I believe that there is a plan for this world and that plan for this world is for good. I believe that there is great hope and great potential for every country to be able to live and be protected with inalienable rights that I believe are God-given, Charlie, and I believe that those are the rights to life and liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
That, in my world view, is a grand — the grand plan.

CG: But then are you sending your son on a task that is from God?

P: I don’t know if the task is from God, Charlie. What I know is that my son has made a decision. I am so proud of his independent and strong decision he has made, what he decided to do and serving for the right reasons and serving something greater than himself and not choosing a real easy path where he could be more comfortable and certainly safer.

God’s own family

Ok now I’m scared. There are several things here that freak me out but I won’t bother with the obvious absurdity of linking the rights of nation states to God’s plan for the world, or how unsophisticated it is to present God’s perceived grand plan as always being the American concept of life, liberty and happiness. But her concept of her son’s ‘decision’ is ludicrous. There is nothing ‘independent’ about Track Palin’s[2] decision. How could his decision possibly be independent when his mom cannot help but to remind him that it is serving for the right reasons and serving something greater than himself? He has been given from his mother’s bosom to serve as God’s own man, in God’s own family from God’s own land.
There is no trace of individual strength in this young man’s glorious conformity.

Boy oh boy! What a week in US politics. First Obama blows the doors off of the DNC in Denver and then McCain chooses a mom of 5 married to a guy named Todd as his VP pick. Bot more on Sarah Palin later – for now she’s still busy sinking into the world of doubt and made up scandals. But browsing the DNC’s site I had that sinking feeling again[1].

I’ve previously written about the perpetual ‘Americaness’ of Obama; his platform may be Change but in reality he sells more of the same; more belonging, more togetherness. And the price to be paid is the same[2]. One of the strong messages of the DNC was Unity; after a bruising primary race the party needs to reconcile Hillary supporters with Obama, and Hillary was there doing her part to heal the wounds that she had helped to bite open. But what struck me about the DNC was not the unity nor the colour and the pageantry. I got no sense of hope of a bright new era, no sight of change – the DNC was a bombshell display of only one thing – uniformity. Wave the same flags, hold up the same placards, chant the same slogans, sing the same songs, cry the same tears.

This glowing church to the shared experience of belonging was an enormous success, leaving its participants and viewers energized and sated. But despite the odd freaky outfit or wide-brimmed hat they all marched in order in a jubilant parade that makes the Chinese regiments at the Olympic opening ceremony look like nothing more than a stage show. The DNC was raw with the emotion of submission into the warm arms of God and country and having a father figure till you die.

And yes, the protests outside were overrun with individuals with homemade placards and real diversity, but that’s not enough. I want the really dangerous kind of individualism. I want the kind of individualism that doesn’t have to be demonstrated with a wild hairdo, but that exists in the way that people speak and permeates suburbs and schools, and runs into that glowing church.

I love Americans! They’re so warm and cuddly.

Apart from the long slow public death of Britney Spears there’s no bigger story in the states at the moment than the presidential election primaries and particularly the race between Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton for the Democratic Party nomination.

Obama in the Sun (Time for a Change)

Before Iowa the common understanding both in the commercial media and on the internet was that Hillary Clinton would win the nomination because she is the preferred candidate with the Democratic Party establishment(the old boys). But then Obama blew Hillary away in Iowa, mostly because he was able to radically mobilize independent voters(who typically don’t vote in large numbers) behind his slogan of Change! – whoopdedoo.

The Hillary Show (More Change?)

All of a sudden Hillary was dead meat. The internet was abuzz with Obama-praise with some writers comparing him to JFK and even Martin Luther King Jr[1]. Within days the common understanding switched to one in which Obama would continue to produce record turnouts of independents who would board his all-singing-all-dancing change-train. Obama arrived in New Hampshire ready to drink champagne from Hillary’s cold skull. But then Hillary cried on TV, or at least almost cried. And before you could say Oprah a furious debate started up in the media over whether the tears were real or faked and whether voters would see it as a turn-on or proof that women aren’t strong enough to be president[2]. As it turns out On Monday Hillary Clinton teared up in despair. On Tuesday she had reason to cry with euphoria. The televised secretion may have changed the election.

Breakingdown News

As we all know by now she stormed back into the lead in New Hampshire by out-doing Obama in the mobilzing-of-a-record-number-of-voters stakes. So where does this leave the primaries? Well, it’s a sure bet that the democratic race will now settle into a standard drawn-out battle for Super Tuesday. Both candidates have shown their mettle and found their voices. Obama will continue pitching his promise of hope and change. Hillary will continue pitching her message of being up to the task and strong while not being afraid to show some emotion. And the Republican primaries will remain a very, very distant second as far as star power[3] is concerned.

Mike Huckabee tries to be as cool as Bill Clinton

But what I’m interested in is why Americans responded so strongly first to Obama and then to Hillary. What is it about that great(?) nation that makes them so absurd?
Through my visits to the US and my lifelong consumption of its media I’ve come to learn, among others, two things that seem to be ingrained deep in the psyche of the overwhelming majority of Americanos. And I believe that these two characteristics, bred and refined over generations, were demonstrated with unique power and in close succession in the Hillary v Obama drama.
But let me first say that while I consider these behaviours to be weaknesses in the US overmind/oversoul they are also two of the fundamentals that give the American nation is undeniable strength and part of the reason why they have come to dominate the planet. It’s swings and roundabouts, what the individual looses is gained by the group.
The two characteristics[4] that I believe drove the primary votes are, firstly, a very strong need to belong and, secondly, reverence for the act of ‘opening-up’.

Belonging

American kids are raised to(among other things) belong; belong to a family, belong to school, belong to a team. Nowhere in the world is the notion of supporting your school, your alma-mater as strong as in US college football. Men wear signet rings of the years that their schools won the State Championship with more pride than their wedding bands. When attending a conference they might remove their wedding band when screwing the PA, but no-sir that 1998 Mid-Western States Championship ring aint goin’ nowhere.
What makes this drive to belong even more amazing is that it isn’t seen as fear of isolation, people don’t join church groups and soccer lift pools and community watch teams and fucking veterans’ appreciation societies because they fear being isolated. Somehow they’ve developed an understanding that belonging is a positive thing, it’s warm and friendly and makes the world a better place. They really do believe in that shit. They really believe that there is no reason to not belong to every grouping imaginable because there’s nothing to loose. So what if we all wear identical uniforms when we go bowling or drive 9 hours in convoy supporting our school’s cheerleaders when they compete out of state, it makes us a community. It freaks me out that they don’t get the fact that while belonging to a group isn’t a bad thing it doesn’t come without a price, there always is a part of your individual identity that you have to give up.
And Barack Obama tapped into this glowing need to belong. He found his voice when he pitched himself as the man to change US politics once and for all – to deliver it from the evils of partisanship and self-serving infighting. But while his campaign advisors certainly did expect to get a big bite from disgruntled voters from this pitch I bet that never in their wildest dreams did they expect to pick up so many independent voters. In a veritable showering of love and belonging hundreds of thousands of independents have bought into Obama’s message and have joined him in his crusade. They’ve joined him and are ready to heal the world, because they know that Together We Can! Chant that until you puke.

I belong to Obama

Opening up

If there is one thing more bizarre about Americans than their overwhelming joy at belonging to something[5] it is their reverence for the act of opening up. There seems to be a subtle distrust of people who don’t share their feelings with the group. Reality TV is a prime carrier of this sentiment. In a previous season of The Bachelor one of contestants[6] was continually berated by the other chicks for ‘not sharing’. She was ostracized from the group and described as ‘not real’. Later during the season the chicks got together, after what seemed like several glasses of wine, and through a series of confrontations eventually this girl broke down and cried a little. She then sat down with the girls on the couch and explained how she was afraid of being hurt so didn’t want to show too much emotion but that she now realised that they would all support her blah blah blah blah. A later interview with the ringleader of the chicks was revealing; suddenly she ‘really appreciated’ how the first girl ‘opened up’ and ‘shared her feelings’. How fucked up is that?
And so, the voters responded when Hillary opened up, when she shared. And if there is one thing that is more powerful than simply sharing it is the redemption of a person who previously was cold and aloof who then opened up to the warm embrace of her loving community. Beautiful.

Obama got voters to join him in his quest, to be part of his mission. Hillary opened up and shared her hopes, dreams and fears with the nation. And for both of them the nation responded in a cascade of votes. An absurd and beautiful land.

[1] This is reasonable comparison given the fact that he is a truly fantastic orator.
[2] No-one has actually seen GW Bush cry while he’s been in office though many think that he probably does from time to time.
[3] Talk about mega-celebrity, Obama’s roadshow features Oprah and Hillary’s feature’s Bill – two of the most gifted entertainers of our time.
[4] Characteristic isn’t really the right word. These are so strong that I almost want to call them *shudder* values.
[5] Something, something! Anything!
[6] Who actually turned out to be the most interesting person by far

SlateV has a fun look at the absurdity of US Presidential television advertising with Republican Libertarian[1] candidate, Ron Paul’s recent television ad in new Hampshire.
The tag line is ‘He’s catching on I’m tellin’ ya!‘ and it is hilarious. It’s pitched at swing voters and is designed to show the viewer that it’s not necessary to agree with all of his policies to vote for him, as long as you believe in his good news.
It starts with ‘Well, I don’t always agree with Ron Paul, but he’s honest and you always know where he stands‘. Then more ‘Actually, I agree with him most of the time, I really do!‘. Then the hilarity; ‘He wants to get out of Iraq, pronto!‘, ‘Cut government spending!‘, ‘Protect personal privacy, personal freedom!‘ and crests with a rocking chair emphatic ‘Live free or die! New Hampshire!‘.

Here’s Slate:

We could give you our view, there is much rich material. Instead we turned to some youtube comments from Paul’s supporters, known for their ruthless advocacy for the candidate, it turns out they can also be ruthless about the candidate’s advertisement.

See the entire ad in all its comedic glory here.

Ron Paul

But making a bullshit ad doesn’t make him an asshole, it just makes him American[2]. What does make him an asshole is this.

Jigglets

It’s an animated gif advertising t-shirts for sale from this on-line store. Fine, all politicians sell merchandise. I would be shocked if they didn’t. But check them motherfuckers out. Can you say emo hot? fuck. Stripmall advocacy. Yeah, Ron Paul is a cool guy!
Go ahead laugh till you cry.

Yeah! check how he spells Evol!	Boobies for Freedom	Wear What You Stand For!	Boobies for Liberty	Ron Paul Power!	Internet Rockstar

Oh, and the website’s url makes him an asshole as well. ronpaulnation.com

[1] yes, both.

[2] go ahead spend some time on Paul‘s and Mitt Romney‘s sites. You’ll want to kill yourself.

Part of the reason why I enjoy US politics so much[1] is because the power structures are _so_ intertwined and _so_ corrupt[2] that it makes for wonderful absurdity.
The current hot mega-powerdemons are the friendly, fire-first-ask-questions-later folks at Blackwater. As reported extensively Blackwater have been involved in the deaths of Iraqi civilians in several incidents in Baghdad over the last months. The most recent incident, in which it is claimed that as many as 20 Iraqi civilians died, catapulted them to the top of the worldwide mega-demon charts. Haliburton must be totally bummed out about this.

Blackwater’s contractors fired their weapons 195 times — or an average of 1.4 times a week — from the beginning of 2005 through the second week of September [...].
In over 80 percent of the cases, Blackwater reports that its forces fired first, [...].
CNN

Sons of Bitches

So just how fucked up is Blackwater? Here’s their About us

Blackwater was founded in 1997 from a clear vision developed from an understanding of the need for innovative, flexible training and operational solutions to support security and peace, and freedom and democracy everywhere.

When last did you hear of a company started ‘to support security and peace, and freedom and democracy’? Whose freedom and democracy are we talking about here? Your freedom to drive a big truck and hoist a red flag? Fuck you.

Home Base

You’ll also be happy to know that at Blackwater you can shop online for branded caps, t-shirts, gun accessories and inspirational posters at the Blackwater Proshop[3]. So not only are they building a private army, paid for by US taxpayers, but they’ve also seen the need to diversify into lifestyle gear[4]. Anyways, if you’re visiting Blackwater’s site to get an application form[5] to make those big bucks over in ol’ Iraqland I suppose you may as well buy something, right? Guns and branded gear from the Proshop – you’re a pro now.
Are you puking yet?

Death has never looked this good

Hell, they even have kids apparel.

Raise them right

But the absurdity of a bunch of mercenaries selling glossy visions of bringing freedom to the uncivilized world through the wearing of rugged outdoor gear aside, Blackwater is knee deep in the types of military-industrial complex relationships that make US politics such a circus. Political Friendster’s Blackwater USA entry is littered with the usual[6] collection of powerful families, Christian groups, multi-nationals and inter-marrying of the US elite.
And these types of relationships pay off in cases like the legislation passed by the US congress yesterday that makes defense contractors operating in other countries(i.e. mercenaries), such as Blackwater, subject to US criminal law. Seems like a no-brainer, right? It is, the legislation was approved by a landslide majority of 389 votes to 30. But before the vote the Bush administration released the following statement in opposition ‘The bill would have unintended and intolerable consequences for crucial and necessary national security activities and operations.’
Translation, GW will veto the fuck out of that bill, regardless of how much support it has in congress.

The world is unrecognisable from the one my parents knew, it’s unrecognisable from the one I knew as a child. But the world is no less insidious or brutal, no less meaningless – it has been broken beyond repair for thousands of years. But we live in an unprecedented state of hyper-corruption, hyper-consumerism, hyper-death. And in that world Blackwater is what thecages is about.

[1] The other, possibly even more entertaining, reason why I enjoy it is because of the bizarre pageantry. The US presidential race events are run like a rock shows/revivalist church meetings. Hillary-ious.
[2] And I don’t mean the nice kind of corrupt found in dictatorships and military junta’s all over the world. There’s a special kind of corruption that exists in the US, epitomised by the revolving door.
[3] Isn’t that name trademarked?
[4] Boing Boing reported on this in 2006
[5] There’s something special about an application form that lists the types of guns that they will teach you to shoot.
[6] Don’t get me wrong, it’s not as if I’m claiming that the US right wing is the only side of the coin that moves in this terrifying world of secret handshakes. The left does it to. Everyone does it! That’s what makes it so much fun.