It’s not every day that sports makes me smile, but oh glorious is today for the way that a streaker got whacked by Andrew Symonds.
The story is that Australian cricket all-rounder Andrew Symonds ‘collided’ with a streaker who disrupted a match between his team and India. The dude, one Robert Murray David Ogilvie, ran onto the field and evaded a dozen security guards before being body checked by Symonds on the pitch.

Streaker In Flight

Now, let’s not forget that Symonds is a 6ft 1in professional sportsman who weighs 94kg and trains with the Brisbane Broncos rugby league team. He’s Australian cricket’s answer to Vinnie Jones. Ogilvie didn’t stand a chance.

The press reported it variously as everything from a ‘collision’ to a ‘tackle’ to a ‘trashing’ but everyone agrees that Symonds rocked and the episode certainly won’t damage his reputation as a red-blooded male.

Youtube has the entire thing here or, for the insta-grats, the highlights package here.

And the outcome? The streaker was charged and fined, no charges have been brought against Symonds and Ogilvie had the following to say

“It was great actually… it was just like playing football,”
Asked whether he had any intention of bringing assault charges against Symonds, Ogilvie said: “No, wake up to yourself”.

Ogilvie apologised to the cricketers involved in yesterday’s match but said he did not regret his naked run.
“You only live once, don’t you?” he said.

However, he insisted his streaking days were over.
“No, done it once, that’s enough isn’t it?”

What more could you ask for in a news story? Sports. Nudity. A victimless crime and a happy ending for all.

I had reported previously on the 2006 running of the Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest held each year on the 4th of July at Coney Island.

Last year it was Japanese eating-sensation Takeru Kobayashi had made it six in a row by defeating hometown favourite, Joey Chestnut in a close run match. Chestnut was visibly disappointed with his defeat but vowed that he would be back in 2007, ready to eat.

Kobayashi Victorious – 2006

During this last year Kobayashi suffered an injury to his jaw which threatened to deny the world of the highly anticipated rematch.
However, Kobayashi showed his steel and once again, on good ol’ 4th of Julie, squared off against Chestnut for another round of dunk-a-hot-dog-in-a-glass-of-water-and-then-stuff-it-down-your-throat. The crowd knew that this could be a match of legendary preportions.

The Rematch – All the Action

Adding even more hype to the auspicious event was the fact that Joey Chestnut had recently bettered Kobayashi’s world record in a qualifier event in June. Kobayashi had it all to do.
However, on the day, after 4 minutes of bun munching the US dog devourer proved just too strong for his Asian rival – Joey Chestnut is victorious, returning the coveted Mustard Belt to an independence celabrating U.S of good ol’ A.

Chestnut Victorious – 2007

The Fox News headline says it all: American Joey Chestnut Wins Hot Dog Eating Contest, Shattering World Record.

And with this major win behind him the world of speed eating looks towards JC to take the sport to new televised heights.

David Beckham has just arrived, to tumultuous applause, in Los Angeles. I have just seen a 5 minute CNN segment[1] on this, including an interview with an expert[2] on their arrival and what Americans can expect of them. If the new president of France, that Sarkozy dude, visited GW in Washitown DC it would get all of 2 minutes coverage on the same show.

Pay my bills

He and his mega spice girl wife, Victoria[3] are have moved to LA from Madrid to pursue his new career with LA Galaxy and her new career at the Ivy. This is being played like it is the biggest media/news event since forever and by all accounts they are positively HUGE. Their management must be pooping themselves.

Some facts:
- If this comes off(the business of the move) we are about to see a massive amount of money generated.
- Tom Cruise is getting ready to establish himself as the new power broker of AAA-list hookups. His triumph over George Clooney is assured[4].
- Brad Pitt is no longer the finest specimen of manhood in Hollywood.
- No one cares about Posh, this will not change.
- Paris Hilton has just been blown out of the water. She’ll have to start going out without her undies again.
- Scientology won’t be going after the Beckham’s; that would be just too obvious, even for them.

This is news. This is what people want to know. This is business, it’s the most valuable commodity today – public interest.
What a bizarre state of affairs; I can’t wait to see what happens next.

[1] I wouldn’t call it a story
[2] The features editor of W magazine, for who they did a cover shoot.
[3] Vicky to her friends, Katie and Tommy
[4] He assures himself each morning during his daily 5 minutes of quality time; just him, his mirror and his smile.

As an addendum to Iran and the rockets, here‘s celebrated lefty Noam Chomsky on the US and Iran.

Chomsky is by no means an easy speaker to follow[1] but he’s an excellent analyst of the politics of power.

Noam Chomsky – from a profile by The Observer

If you look back over the record — and North Korea is a horrible place nobody is arguing about that — on this issue they’ve been pretty rational. It’s been a kind of tit-for-tat history. If the United States is accommodating, the North Koreans become accommodating. If the United States is hostile, they become hostile. [...] that’s been the general picture and we’re now at a place where there could be a settlement on North Korea.


That’s much less significant for the United States than Iran.

Which brings up the issue of the strategic role of energy resources in the Middle East.

The Iranian issue I don’t think has much to do with nuclear weapons frankly. Nobody is saying Iran should have nuclear weapons — nor should anybody else. But the point in the Middle East, as distinct from North Korea, is that this is center of the world’s energy resources.[...]

So Iran is a different situation. It’s part of the major energy system of the world.

Here’s the important part

There are several issues in the case of Iran. One is simply that it is independent and independence is not tolerated.

International affairs is very much run like the mafia. The godfather does not accept disobedience, even from a small storekeeper who doesn’t pay his protection money. You have to have obedience otherwise the idea can spread that you don’t have to listen to the orders and it can spread to important places.

[I]t’s not only that it has substantial resources and that it’s part of the world’s major energy system but it also defied the United States. The United States, as we know, overthrew the parliamentary government, installed a brutal tyrant, was helping him develop nuclear power, in fact the very same programs that are now considered a threat were being sponsored by the U.S. government, by Cheney, Wolfowitz, Kissinger, and others, in the 1970s, as long as the Shah was in power.

But then the Iranians overthrew him, and they kept U.S. hostages for several hundred days.

And the United States immediately turned to supporting Saddam Hussein and his war against Iran as a way of punishing Iran. The United States is going to continue to punish Iran because of its defiance.

[...]And it is setting up confrontations right now, very explicitly. Part of the reason is strategic, geo-political, economic, but part of the reason is the mafia complex. They have to be punished for disobeying us.

 .

[1] Which is kind of bizarre[i] for the foremost linguist in the world today.

[i] I also have a CD of one of his lectures – rrrrrrr… very long sentences

Iran have launched a space rocket.

And in doing so they have become, in my opinion at least, the most credible antagonist to US foot-stompery since ???[1].

Iran – centerpiece to Middle Eastern stability

Unlike Kim Jong Il, Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad seems to understand (i) the reality of geopolitical power and (ii) how to use this power to promote Iran’s cause in the Middle East. And through the judicious use of scientifically legitimate (i.e. non-military) tests he has managed to ruffle the feathers of those clout-spent hawks in Washington while carefully retaining the moral highground on external interference in his country.

Well done to him – a very astute play on the politics of lines in the sand.

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

And what about his cause for flexing his well-behaved muscle like this?
As I see it, it is relatively simple; as the only Shi’a dominated Islamic state he must, at all costs, not allow the invasion of Iraq to marginalise Shi’a muslims even more.
He is, both geographically and socially, in a unique position to prevent the Middle East from being overrun by the US and their Sunni trade partners.

I’m not saying that his motivations are without a personal agenda (influence in Iraq) or ambition for his nation-state[2], but Iran (and I know that this sounds weird) is the best-placed Islamic state to maintain a sensible balance of power in the region.

Iranian rocket launch

Another Iranian rocket launch

Which brings me to my point; how little I actually know about Muslim history and politics.
As anyone who scans on-line news headlines knows the Muslim world is divided into two dominant camps; Sunni and Shia.
But what I didn’t realise is how overwhelming the Sunni majority is.
Shi’a muslims account for around 8-15%[3] of all muslims – Sunni for just about all of the remaining 85%. There are also other marginal groups such as the Ibadi.

The odds are seriously stacked in favour of the Sunni.

Have a look at the below map (courtesty of the CIA, via Wikipedia).

Distribution of muslim groups

Given this headcount reality Iran have a very important part to play(along with, especially, Israel) in retaining a balanced diversity of power in this region.
Rock on, keep your head, stand your ground – claim your Gravity’s Rainbow.

[1] I’ll still think of one
[2] let’s not be naive here
[3] depending on who you believe